Public Butt Washing Banned

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Beware of the latest outbreak in public butt washing, it may permanently damage your eyes and mind. It all started with a rumor of H1N1 being transmitted through dirty butts, and from that point on, the act of washing butts 5 to 10 times a day became a popular pass time for many.

Crime for Chinese to Wait in Line

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Here’s the secret to the amazing economic growth of China, training all Chinese citizens to not wait in lines. By spurring a culture of cutting in line and aggressive pushing, it has created a Chinese society driven bull market.

Obviously Stupid Signs

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This sign must be the ultimate statement of the obvious. Not sure how much more useless this sign can get.

Traffic Jam FAIL

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Not sure where the heavy traffic is going to come from, unless everyone here rides on donkeys or something. Sure beats getting stuck on a road with a million other cars though.

How to deal with Fear

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Here’s how you remain optimistic if you happen to live near released rapists or serial killers like in the movie Cape Fear. Apparently it has something to do with generous portions of medicinal marijuana.

Fashion for Fat Kids

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If you have a fat kid or two, you might want to bring them to this totally politically incorrect clothing store. Not only will your kids be laughed at as you enter the store, but they will also charge you extra for the additional fabric needed too.

Driving with Eyes Closed

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Recently there has been a string of incidents with people who drive with their eyes closed. The goal is to see how many seconds they can go before they crash into a ditch. Apparently it all started with a truth or dare facebook app or something.

Rock Skiing Off Mountain Top

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Looks like this extreme sport is finally catching on. Rock skiing off a mountain top. Not sure how long it’ll last though, as nobody has successfully managed to stay in one piece so far.

Children Trafficking at Airports

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For those trying to human traffick minors to some obscure destination, please pick them up at the lower baggage area after 8:30pm. Don’t worry, we will automatically assume that since their parents doesn’t care enough to keep an eye on them, they don’t want them around anyways.

Best Chinese Stereotypes Ever

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People generally don’t like surprises, and they love their stereotypes. Here’s a 2 in 1 Chinese stereotype, with a China Buffet and a Chinese Laundromat all in the same place! Nothing like snacking on some Dim Sum while waiting for your clothes to dry.